I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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