Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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