I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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