but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
