I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
