I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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