On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
birth control should be required to get into college
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
