I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize