my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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