I seem to have left my pride at pride
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
