So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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