im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
third nipple confirmed
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
