So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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