I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
