he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
