I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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