Define "chronic" masturbator.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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