why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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