She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
