I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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