idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
