My room smells like vodka and shame
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
