She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize