I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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