Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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