I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
