"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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