Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
