Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
be right there i have to get my cape
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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