i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize