farters have to be the big spoon...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
