He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
