I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
