Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
