we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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