I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
