you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
