my shit smells like andre
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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