there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He? As in you personified your dick?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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