Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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