so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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