the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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