On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
