this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
