doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i would one night stand the shit outta him
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
