I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
