I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
