I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
