i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize