actually, I'm a sock model
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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