yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
