I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize