everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
