I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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