my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
