What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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