im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
