so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
