woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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