I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
