whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
