new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
