Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
