Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
