Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
