Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
