I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize