please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
