What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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