that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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