My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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