When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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