So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
