I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize