Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
