therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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